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I have been friends with a woman, who has faced and conquered many hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's constantly taken by surprise by others. Her partner walked away, and it was a massive blow. Many of close acquaintances vanished then, as they were focused solely on him. She was stunned by her. She made increased attention toward our bond, probably realised better the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't sure why. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been an excellent employee, her exit happened not understanding what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, we've both stepped back from work so we're spending frequent meetups, however, I feel my role in the relationship is as the audience. I open subjects only for her to redirect the talk toward what interests her. Regarding political views, she expresses firm beliefs. I attempt to propose factchecking and alternate views.

She is planning a vacation to a country I've visited repeatedly and resided in for some time. I tried to provide advice, yet it was met with resistance. She essentially only wanted me to confirm her decisions. I recently returned from a month there she hopes to meet, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate to be a friend that walks away without explanation, however, I feel she will ever understand the consequences of her behaviour on my confidence. Right now, I find myself in pulling back. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, yet this is seldom the peaceful resolution we imagine. Yet having a direct talk aiming for resolution requires bravery and readiness for each of you.

Experts suggest trying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Step one requires explaining the usual pattern when you talk. This needs to be based on facts and essentially an unbiased account. The second is to express how this makes you feel. Ideally, there's no dispute on this point. Emotions belong to you, after all. Finally is to ask how the two of you will alter the interaction of your friendship."

Keep in mind that she also has her own side, thus requiring you to stay open to acknowledge it. One effective method is to say your friend:

"It's your turn to speak while I will remain silent for a set time."

It's wildly successful in fostering mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

This person might reject your concerns, as some people cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a story regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of as it feels essential is tied to it and it represents familiar to them. It's tough when there seems no easy route with these people, just dead ends. Yet she could at first react defensively and then think on your words. And should you never reach a fix, it will give you closure from having been open and direct.